Thursday, November 29, 2007

Speaking of killing animals . .

as of 4:15 this morning, my total kills for 2007 are as follows:

Moles: 4

Bats: 2

Fish: 2

I am starting to think that this might be my deadliest year yet. When I was seven, I killed thousands of ants with magnifying glasses, but if you go by weight, I think it has to be 2007.

I am not proud of this.

The moles felt good at first--I had a lot of mole rage at the time built up from a few years of losing large swaths of creeping phlox and sweet woodruff to them--but I'm almost ready to call a truce there. This new trap I got from the back of Farm Show magazine works almost too well, though.

The fish were mercy kills, so having their souls on my conscience don't keep me up late at night. They both had terminal cases of "ick" and I could tell they were suffering. The only sad thing there is that I was very bad at killing them and it took a lot of whacks before they finally went to the light.

But the bats, I really do feel badly for them. In the summer, I just open a window and they fly out. Sure, I know they're going to crawl back into my attic, but they're cute, and I love to watch them swoop around my yard. But in the winter, it's a conundrum. If I let them out, they're just going to freeze to death, slowly. What am I supposed to do--catch them in my bedroom and set them free in the living room? No, I opt for a tennis racket, usually. This morning, I couldn't find the racket, so I used a cookie sheet. I think it was quick, if startling. I know I was startled at least--the adrenalin rush of the kill kept me from getting back to sleep, so for my penance, I lay in bed watching the time of my alarm tick closer, minute by minute, for the next hour and a half.


tsea said...

During a night ride on my bike, I felt a quick bump coinciding with a muted snap on what by day is a smoothly paved road and looked back to see a possum making its final slump squarely in my path I'd just navigated.

And I thought I was preventing road kill by two-wheeling. I still haven't hit a mammal in my car, though the exhaust and noise pollution are much heavier impacts. My health is weaker too, but such is life in winter.

countvonsexy said...

I killed a MAN in 2007.

And I'm not sorry for it.


Meg Marie said...

Are you going to get more fishies?

And as for the bats... well, I just think they're creepy.

Mr. Hill said...

I'm going to wait for 'til after winter break for the new fish, I think--they'd all die a slow death of starvation if I put them in now. I mean, they'll die a quick death anyway, probably, but I have to at least *try* to keep them alive.