My Lost Plan

People always ask me, they ask "hey, do you watch Lost," and my answer, it is always the same. I say "no."

My plan is to watch the last episode, in a couple years' time. Until then, I'm going to sign up for saxophone lessons every week at the same time that Lost comes on, on Saturday mornings before Bob the Builder, or whenever it is. I forget.

So in a couple years when the last episode comes on, I will throw a Lost party and invite all my friends who watch Lost to my house and we'll watch the last one and at the end we'll look at each other and say "so that's what the big four-toed statue thing is."

Then there will be a silence because people won't know what to talk about and I'll say "hey, listen to me, I'm going to play a saxophone song." And then I'll play it, real nice, on my saxophone that I have been practicing for two years while they've been watching Lost and when I'm done I'll look at them and say "There. I can play the saxophone. What can you do?" And they'll have nothing. They'll be like "We can't do anything. We've been watching Lost all this time, and just wondering about it and stuff."

Oh, that will be so sweet.